it wasn't lemon gatorade
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
