i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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