I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
