Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Too much gin, very little bucket
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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