Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
