I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
