so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
