the new term for farting is butt boxing.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The Olympian is in my bed
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
