Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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