she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
