We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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