piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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