Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
They have beer where we have blood.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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