You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i now understand why vodka
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We smell like vodka and hangover
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