I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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