Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
