Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
