Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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