He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
only if we run a train.
done.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
