Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
