I want to have your abortion
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
