after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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