omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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