This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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