first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
