broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
