I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
