ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
The ass gains better be worth it
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
