i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
