Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
