I CAN MOONWALK!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
