worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
