my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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