I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
