i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
