plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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