i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
