It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wish you could order shots online.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
