yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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