She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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