1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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