How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
