I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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