did you get engaged???
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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