So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
