i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
