What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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