with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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