You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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