Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
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